forever & always

[Nat ~]

eek. the one person in the game that is likely to nominate me wins hoh :/ i hope i can manage to not get nominated. ive been talking to jee quite a bit (before and after hoh zults were posted) and jeff said he's trying to push eric/will noms to jee. gahhh i really dont wanna be the first juror after all this crap with shad.

[Nat ~]

oh gosh, i think i might be good this week, maybe. i mean im not gonna go and get all confident, but jeff was talking to jee earlier and said he was pushing for eric/will to get nominated, and casey told me the smartest thing for jee to do, would be nominating sarah/will. not gonna lie id rather it be eric/will because i have very little game relationship with animal, where as will and sarah i think would have my interests at heart more so then eric at this point. it doesnt matter though, everyones gotta go at some point, and as long as its not me im happy. bleh i dont wanna wait another 24 hours or more for noms....

[Nat ~]

ijeelly 2:17 pm
so about your proposal yesterday
i want to be able to work with you, but i'm just scared that you have all these other friends in the game that'll i'll take a far back seat =X

thats SO britti 2:18 pm
thats understandable, but i mean i wouldnt have brought a deal up to you if i didn't mean it
and half the people in the game and i are friends yes but we dont even talk game anymore
or they hate me for nominating and evicting their friend (kathleen)

ijeelly 2:19 pm
true, but like you said you play an emotional game

thats SO britti 2:19 pm
i did.

ijeelly 2:19 pm
and you have a stronger attachment to them then to me

thats SO britti 2:19 pm
im over that now

thats SO britti 2:19 pm
because i realized
if people dont worry about hurting me
why should i worry about hurting them
my hoh week definitely turned this game on its heels for m
me*

ijeelly 2:19 pm
that makes sense
hopefull yoyu keep this mentality up when we're working together =P lol

thats SO britti 2:20 pm
you know i will :-)
well, you dont know i will, but i promise i will, i have felt a lot better since i stopped playing emotionally

ijeelly 2:21 pm
haha thanks good
and i hope this promise is better then the week you nominated me lol

thats SO britti 2:21 pm
it is
goshhhh i cant apologize enough for that :-\

ijeelly 2:21 pm
haha yeah.. but at least i stayed and you got ali out

thats SO britti 2:21 pm
yesss
thank goodness
although that didnt make certain people happy lol
sarah and alex were LIVID with me

ijeelly 2:22 pm
yeah but you stood up for yourself so good for you

thats SO britti 2:22 pm
ya i was really proud of my self for that, i figured even if i got evicted right after that, i could at least be proud ofr that

ijeelly 2:23 pm
haha thats good =]

thats SO britti 2:23 pm
:-D

ijeelly 2:23 pm
ok now comes for the part you might not like so much =X, and idk if i'll do it
its just a thought
but i might have to nominate you becuase it would be super sketchy if i didnt
but i'm gonna for sure try and make it so that you will stay
i just need 3 votes so

thats SO britti 2:24 pm
i mean its not ideal
but like i did the same to you so i cant bel ike I*@()*)(*)(&()
lol

ijeelly 2:24 pm
yeah sorry =X
but if i don't nominate you people will be suspecting we're together

thats SO britti 2:24 pm
yeah
who would i be up against
like who would the target me
be

ijeelly 2:24 pm
you won't tell anyone right?

thats SO britti 2:24 pm
of course not

ijeelly 2:25 pm
promise?

thats SO britti 2:25 pm
i promise on jim sturgess

ijeelly 2:25 pm
=-O ok lol

thats SO britti 2:25 pm
who is my favourite celebrity in the world so that means a lot LOL

ijeelly 2:25 pm
yeah you told me that lol
well i want will gone =X
do you think you can get a 3rd vote?
cuz im pretty sure u can get sheila and jeff

thats SO britti 2:26 pm
uhmmm i could talk to casey maybe?
and maybe sarah idk ?

ijeelly 2:26 pm
idk this is what i want to happen but idk if it will
i haven't talked to anyone about it except for you so far

thats SO britti 2:26 pm
kk
its not gonna get out dont worry
the only place this convo is going is in my diary room

ijeelly 2:27 pm
haha ok

ijeelly 2:27 pm
well start playing nice to sarah and casey then

thats SO britti 2:27 pm
ok

ijeelly 2:27 pm
cuz i really don't want you to go

thats SO britti 2:27 pm
i have my veto ball


ijeelly 2:27 pm
oh yeah
we totally need someone good to go up against will

thats SO britti 2:28 pm
yaa
im not strong in veto comps
so if you are nominating me and will together
he has a better chance winning then i do

ijeelly 2:28 pm
he has a better chance of winning regardless of who is up but yeah i gotcha

thats SO britti 2:28 pm
true

[Nat ~]

btw, why does jee think i nominated him both times i was hoh? i nominated casey/brian the first time and alex won veto and kept my nominations the same...

[Nat ~]

bleh. i dont want to be nominated against cody. i mean obviously i have to do what i have to do to stay here this week, but cody is good shit.

[Nat ~]

KC, I'd like to use my veto ball obviously, and have sheila play as my pick thank you!

[Nat ~]

jeff told me that im the target now that will won hoh, and that the replacement is gonna be jeff.
this sucks major donkey balls. i don't want to campaign against billy, but i don't want to be the first juror. so while i love billy, i'm gonna fight my ass off to stay this week.
i'm pretty damn sure i have will and sheila's votes, sarah as well, and HOPEFULLY nick.

i've been laying it on thick with jee since i got home, doubt its working, but i gotta try.

ijeelly 9:36 pm
i want to belive you do, and i feel like you do
but what else can i do?

[Nat ~]

idk why that last part of the conversation was the only part that posted. heres the rest

ijeelly is away 9:24 pm
Online: 1h 15m

thats SO britti 9:24 pm
hey

ijeelly 9:24 pm
heyy

thats SO britti 9:24 pm
so... are we still keeping our deal?

ijeelly 9:27 pm
honestly i don't even know anymore im so confused this week --"
especially with this will crap going
on

thats SO britti 9:27 pm
what will crap =-O

ijeelly 9:28 pm
will winning veto

thats SO britti 9:28 pm
ya that sucks, but we knewi t was a possibility
and you said you didnt want me to go anywhere this week and we made a deal, and i would really like a chance to be able to keep that with you
i stayed true to getting kathleen out the week i had t he chance to

ijeelly 9:29 pm
i know
and i feel really bad if i do evict you =/

thats SO britti 9:29 pm
i think that it would be a terrible decision for you to make, because if theres one thing im good for its my word, and i told you that i made major changes in the way that i was playing this game
and that its not emotionally anymore
and that if i made a deal with you it was going to stay true

ijeelly 9:30 pm
my thing is that you are good with sheila jeff and will as well

thats SO britti 9:32 pm
ya, but you are good with nick, casey, and eric too. like i said to you, i might be good with them but that doesnt mean my game is how you see it. people have thrown me under the bus these last few weeks
and if they dont care about me
why shoyuld i care about them
seriously, i have your game in my best interest

ijeelly 9:36 pm
i want to belive you do, and i feel like you do
but what else can i do?

thats SO britti 9:36 pm
idk, do somethign that is good for your game, taking me out is not going to help you, i promise.

ijeelly 9:39 pm
what i kinda wanna do, but don't know if it will work
is just be like hey will if you use the veto...
your closest ally will go up and home
but idk if that will work or not xD

thats SO britti 9:39 pm
he's gonna use it
it would be stupid for him not to use it at this point

ijeelly 9:40 pm
and there is that factor too
yeah

thats SO britti 9:41 pm
:-(

ijeelly 9:42 pm
this week sucks

thats SO britti 9:42 pm
i agree

ijeelly 9:42 pm
i know i have no right to complain either cuz your butt is the one on the line xD

thats SO britti 9:43 pm
ya i feel sad cause i really don't want to be seeing jury this week and i want you to be able to trust me

ijeelly 9:44 pm
i know
i just dont know what to do this week

thats SO britti 9:45 pm
step back and think about it.
dont let everyone get up in your ear
take their advice but do what your gut says

ijeelly 9:48 pm
yeah
idk i just need to sleep over it or something..

thats SO britti 9:49 pm
yes
smart idea

[Nat ~]

i think my time is almost up in this game, but im not going out with out a fight.

i sent this to casey just now
Hey
I know that we've been kinda bleh somewhat in the begining of this game, but we had recently started talking a bunch more , and i think that we were making a good team. I know that my ass is on the line this week and that if Jee could have it his way, I would be the one to leave out of me and Jeff. It sucks that I have to even campaign against Jeff, and I don't want to, but I don't want to just give up on this game. I think that we finally just got off to a clean slate in this game, and you can ask Jason or Billy, I'm not just saying this because I'm campaigning, I suggested it to them both last week or even before that. I said I wanted a final 4 of you me Jason and Billy. With out Billy here (unfortunately) it would be a final 3 alliance. I know things have been iffy in the past, but I PROMISE you on lori, and my sister (my two best friends in the world) that I will stay true to you. i know you have other allies in the game and i cant expect you to go and change up your game completely so late in the game, but i'd like it if you would consider this offer and even if you don't want the final 3, know that i have your back 100% if i stay.
i think i have 3 votes to stay, so i'd really appreciate yours to make sure i dont get sent home in a tie breaker :/ either way, i'd appreciate if you could let me know your decision before vote count is revealed. thank you so much in advance.
-b


i asked eric if i could get his vote and he said he didnt know and it would be close

nick's on the fence

sarah/sheila/will have said they would keep me.

but if casey doesnt want to keep me and taylor wont keep me and animal wont keep me, bleh.

[Nat ~]

Oh, and KC if I do happen to leave this round, can you leave my confessional access until tomorrow evening. I want to write a disclaimer and some goodbyes.

[Nat ~]

so of course something i said to sarah is the reason that nick doesnt want to keep me here this week.
god.
eric i thought i would have his vote because he and jeff have been after each other for how long now?
i hope that my pm to casey appeals to him and maybe he can talk some sense into the other two.

i hate campaigning against jeff, because we have just recently started becoming really good friends, but this is a game and i gotta do what i gotta do to stay here.

to be honest if i leave this week, its like a big FAT i told you so from Sarah and Alex. Ugh. I hate that fact so fucking much.

i feel like i put so much into this game, so much fight and so much energy, and to go out like this? bleh. BLEH. B.L.E.H.!

On a positive note, if I leave this round, at least I did better than the first allstars.

[Nat ~]

[Nat ~]

definitely thinking my time is up cause casey has been online twice and has not opened my pm :/

[Nat ~]

taypizzzle is available 1:36 pm
Online: 8m

taypizzzle 1:36 pm
hi

thatssobritti 1:36 pm
hey hey
jenna told me she went off on you last nite
i didnt tell her to do that, im sorry

taypizzzle 1:36 pm
=-O
its ok

thatssobritti 1:36 pm
well nto went off
but like campaigned

taypizzzle 1:37 pm
not your fault
yes
lol

thatssobritti 1:37 pm
i didnt tell her to do that and i felt bad
so i wanted ot say sorry

taypizzzle 1:37 pm
dont
you have no reason to

thatssobritti 1:37 pm
:-)

taypizzzle 1:40 pm
i was talking to as many people as possible last night to see where the votes were at i may or may not be a douchebag. but im realizing that you probably have the votes to go, and i dont wanna piss off jeff. i mean its hard for me to tell you this cause i love you, you're amazingly epic. but i think if i wanna keep surviving i have to go with majority :-(
<---feels like an asshole

thatssobritti 1:40 pm
i appreciate you coming to me, and telling me this
but i do have 3 votes
i just need a 4th
people are just saying things to proect them self
and i know where you are coming from
and i dont want you to fuck your self over
but with your vote i could stay, and i do have your back.
i mean if you are set on voting me out i cnat change that
and i love you and you are awesome too
so regardless of what happens im not gonna be mad
im just sad

taypizzzle 1:42 pm
if you do have three votes, i dont understand why people are lying

thatssobritti 1:43 pm
to protect them selves if you or casey or animal wont keep me. they dont want to put them selves out on a limb if its just gonna end up a tie and jee is gonna evict me
like i know i have 3 votes
seriously if you would keep me taylor
i would owe you everything

taypizzzle 1:44 pm
i know :-( but you are more threatening than billy, so its a catch 22

thatssobritti 1:45 pm
im not a threat to you
at all

taypizzzle 1:45 pm
but you're a threat to win =-O

thatssobritti 1:45 pm
i dont think im gonna win and i think you have a WAY better chance at winning this game then i do
i honesly
just want to make it through this round
if you could help me not be the first juror
i dont care if you vote me out next week

taypizzzle 1:47 pm
it was my goal to not be first juror as well, but like its still a tough decision
this is like
voting andii out over jeff

thatssobritti 1:47 pm
ughhh

taypizzzle 1:47 pm
it sucked

thatssobritti 1:47 pm
i know its tough

taypizzzle 1:47 pm
this sucks even moar

thatssobritti 1:48 pm
i just really really want to stay and i dont think you have any reason to get rid of me like i'm baring my soul here and i will promise you anything you need or want for me to stay, and i will s tay true to it

taypizzzle 1:51 pm
but i feel like in this game billy has been more loyal to me. like i know you made a few mistakes, but i trusted you so much and like i feel as though you didn't trust me back. its very conflicting ideaologies for me

thatssobritti 1:51 pm
i understand that
but i was thinking about this last nite and i was told early on in that game that you and jenna made alliances
or whatever
so that kind of threw me off
but i sitll trusted you and these last few weeks ive told you EVERYTHING

taypizzzle 1:52 pm
and i know you're promising me a lot, but billy can too
well not everything

thatssobritti 1:52 pm
and while billy hasnt made errors
or mistakes
but like.... you told me you had my back til final 3
and now im begging you
i get where you are coming from i do
but all i want is a second chance

taypizzzle 1:53 pm
i know i told you id keep you till final 3, thats why i feel like sucha douche

thatssobritti 1:54 pm
seriously, all i can say is i have your back and i will be1000% better than i have been and that i will owe you everything if you keep me in this game. i probably cant change your mind, but i just dont want to go out with out a fight
and im not gonna lie
its upsettfing to me, for a couple of different reasons. im not gonna be mad at whatever the out come is
but i am sad

thatssobritti 1:57 pm
anyways i need to go get my self together before i go to class

taypizzzle 1:57 pm
i need to vote
ive listened to everything you/billy have said
and its very similar
and its very conflicting
and frustrating to me :"(
:-(

thatssobritti 1:58 pm
please taylor
please just give me a 2nd chance :-(

taypizzzle 1:59 pm
i want to, but strategically i cant :-(

thatssobritti 1:59 pm
fine
thanks

taypizzzle is available 1:59 pm

[Nat ~]

im gonna miss the changing themes each round